Being a military spouse comes with its unique challenges, one of which is often feeling resentful towards your partner’s career in the armed forces. It’s understandable to feel this way at times, especially when their duties require long separations, frequent moves, and a significant amount of time away from home. Not only that, but its hard to feel like you’re working towards your own goals when everything revolves around the military. However, it’s crucial to remember that marriage is a partnership, and together, you can navigate these challenges and thrive as a team.
Embracing the Team Mentality
In any successful team, each member plays a vital role in achieving common goals. Similarly, in a marriage, both partners contribute to the success and well-being of the relationship. While your spouse’s career may demand a lot from both of you, it’s essential to recognize that your contributions are equally valuable, whether through emotional support, managing the household, or pursuing your own ambitions.
Exploring Opportunities for Personal Growth
Resentment often stems from feeling stagnant or unfulfilled in your own pursuits. As a military spouse, you have the freedom to explore various opportunities for personal and professional growth, even if your partner’s career requires frequent relocations. Consider pursuing further education, starting a business, volunteering in your community, or delving into hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember, building your future alongside your partner’s career is not only possible but empowering.
Join the Milspouse Mastery Community
If you’re seeking a supportive community of like-minded individuals who understand the unique challenges and triumphs of being a military spouse, look no further than Milspouse Mastery. Our online community is dedicated to providing resources, fostering connections, and offering encouragement to military spouses worldwide. By joining Milspouse Mastery, you’ll gain access to a network of individuals who share your experiences and are committed to helping each other thrive.
In conclusion, while feelings of resentment towards your partner’s career are valid, it’s essential to approach them as opportunities for growth and understanding within your marriage. Remember, you are part of a team, and together, you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way. Embrace the possibilities that lie ahead and join us at Milspouse Mastery to embark on this journey of empowerment and support.
Join the Milspouse Mastery community today and discover a world of solidarity, guidance, and empowerment for military spouses around the globe.
When duty calls, the military responds with steadfast resolve, commitment, and honor. Yet, behind the scenes, another form of heroism unfolds – the silent strength of the military spouses who are left to manage the everyday mission at home.
As military spouses, we don the cape of solo parenting during the most critical hour – deployment. From scheduling superhero to homework helper, we have the task of balancing home front duty with grace and determination.
The Call to Duty: Understanding the Deployment Lifecycle
Deployment is more than a temporary duty; it marks a significant milestone in the life of a military family. For many, it involves setting aside personal plans, missions, and celebrations, as the focus shifts to support the active service member. This is where our duty begins- the initial phase of deployment, preparing the home, and family for the time apart.
Phase 1 – Preparation and Pre-deployment Anxiety
The hours leading up to deployment form a crescendo of emotions – anxiety, readiness, and a bittersweet unity. We need strategies to handle this challenging time, from emotional readiness to the tangible checklists that ensure everything is in place. Super Spouses are armed with a plan of action that leaves no room for uncertainty.
Phase 2 – The Deployment Begins
With the formal goodbye comes the start of the deployment. On the first days and weeks apart, we often need practical advice, emotional support mechanisms, and the importance of maintaining routine.
Super Spouses to the Rescue: Juggling Household and Emotional Roles
When the service member is deployed, the home front becomes a silent, yet bustling base. Super Spouses transform into solo parenting superheroes, taking on the multiple roles that are typically shared. From taking charge of the family’s schedules and errands to being the main source for teaching, training, and emotional support-we step up to fill in the gaps and play both roles.
Mission Planning and Time Management
There are ways to streamline daily tasks, plan for contingencies, and ensure that home operations continue as seamlessly as possible. Time management takes on a new level of strategic precision, and a bit of organization is necessary to combat the enemy of household chaos.
Emotional Support for the Little Troopers
The emotional wellbeing of children during a deployment is a priority for any Super Spouse. We use resources like our support circle, local events and playdates and gentle techniques to help kids cope, offering an array of supportive measures that turn into secret weapons for facing the challenges head on.
Self-Care: The Super Spouse’s Not-So-Secret Weapon
Remember, the most resilient of heroes must take care of themselves. Self-care practices, support networks, and avenues for personal growth become the shield and armor that our Super Spouses will need, especially during deployment. This can be anything from an elaborate spa day (thanks, support network) to your favorite book and a cup of tea.Taking time for yourself when you need it, is not selfish.
Connecting with the Support Network: The Super Spouse League
No hero operates in a bubble, and neither does a military spouse. We must not forget the power of community and the vital role it plays in a Super Spouse’s life. It’s so important to build a local support system and explore the strategic alliances within the military community, local resources, and the chains of strength forged through shared experiences. These relationships act as the Super Spouse’s lifeline, providing camaraderie and shared wisdom.
The Online Military Spouse Community
In an era of digital everything, connections transcend geographical barriers. It’s a good idea to dive into the online world of military spouse groups, social media support, and the virtual salute of solidarity that empowers and engulfs Super Spouses worldwide.
The Reintegration Phase: Life After Deployment
Just as a deployment marks the beginning of an important phase, so does the end usher in a period of transition. As exciting as homecoming is, it also brings with it, the difficulties of reintegrations. Getting back into the norms of everyday life, but now including your spouse within the routine. This process is complex and looks different with every couple and every deployment. Managing post-deployment emotions,and aligning household expectations are just the beginning. These things can’t be rushed.
Celebrating Super Spouses: Recognizing Our Impact and Strength
Now, I just want to honor the resolute Super Spouses, recognizing the milestones we achieve, the impact we make, and the strength we embody. Many people aren’t aware of the challenges this life entails. They see it romanticized and glamourized with military ball gowns and picture-perfect homecomings. But we know the strength that this journey requires. We wear many hats and take on many roles, and if thats you, you truly deserve all of the admiration and appreciation in this post and more.
After a deployment, you may not have defended the nation from an enemy, but you fought. You had a mission to accomplish and you’ve served to completion. For that, we honor and “salute” you.
In the vast and ever-changing landscape of military life, one thing remains constant: the importance of a strong support system. As military spouses, we face unique challenges and uncertainties, from frequent relocations to extended separations from our loved ones. During these times, having a network of support can make all the difference in our ability to navigate and thrive in the military community. In this blog post, we’ll explore the significance of building a robust support system and offer practical tips for fostering meaningful connections within the military community.
The Importance of Support:
A strong support system is like a lifeline, offering comfort, guidance, and encouragement during the ups and downs of military life. Whether it’s a listening ear, a helping hand, or a shoulder to lean on, having people who understand our experiences and empathize with our struggles can provide invaluable support and validation. A strong community can lift us up during challenging times, celebrate our successes, and remind us that we’re not alone on this journey.
Fostering Meaningful Connections:
Building a strong support system starts with reaching out and connecting with others within the military community. Whether you’re attending a spouse group meeting on base, joining online forums and social media groups, or participating in local community events, putting yourself out there is the first step toward building meaningful relationships. Be open to making new friends and offering support to others who may be facing similar challenges. I once made a friend just by knocking on my neighbor’s door-asking to borrow a cup of sugar.
Seeking Out Resources:
In addition to building personal connections, it’s essential to take advantage of the resources available within the military community. From family readiness groups and support services on base to counseling services and educational programs, there are numerous resources designed to support military families. Don’t hesitate to reach out and ask for help when you need it, whether it’s assistance with childcare, financial counseling, or emotional support.
Nurturing Relationships:
Building a strong support system is not just about seeking help when we need it; it’s also about nurturing and investing in our relationships over time. Whether it’s staying in touch with friends from previous duty stations, scheduling regular coffee dates with fellow military spouses, or organizing social gatherings and events, maintaining strong connections requires effort and intentionality.
In the vast and interconnected web of the military community, a strong support system is the cornerstone of resilience and well-being. By reaching out, seeking resources, prioritizing self-care, and nurturing relationships, we can cultivate a network of support that sustains us through the challenges of military life and celebrates our triumphs. Together, we can create a community where every member feels seen, heard, and supported, no matter where the journey takes us.
Ready to strengthen your support system and connect with others in the military community? Join our supportive Facebook group and discover a network of like-minded individuals who understand your unique experiences.
As military spouses, its difficult to navigate long distance while our service member is away. Whether it be a deployment or training, or some sort of school, long distance can put a strain on our communication, and our relationship dynamic as a whole. Dont fret, here are a few do’s and don’ts for getting through the distance.
DON’T
Stalk his social media. Thanks to the internet, we have a lot less privacy than we use to. We can see when someone “likes” a post, whether they’re online, and if their “snap score” goes up. If you haven’t received a message from your husband, and you see that he’s watching reels, you’ll probably get upset. Maybe he’s blowing off steam, or having a brain break-or maybe someone just sent him something. Either way, checking his socials wont help you.
Think the worst. Just because you haven’t’ heard from him doesn’t mean he’s ignoring you. He probably isnt mad at you. He probably isnt spending time with someone else. Its important to take these thoughts captive so that we dont jump to conclusions and drive ourselves crazy.
Blow him up with crazy accusatory messages. If you do the first two things I’ve listed, this is the logical conclusion. As women, our default responses tend to be emotional, and when we let it all build up, it might result in a paragraph that we soon regret typing and sending.
Match his energy, and decide to cut off communication. Let’s let maturity win, and choose not to get revenge on our husbands. Just dont.
DO
Spend some time with your support system. Nothing can make you feel good (or distract you) like a friend who understands.
Work towards a goal. Financial, fitness, a home improvement project, a hobby. These are all great mood boosters, and will give you a sense of accomplishment.
Send him a sweet message, asking about his day, and tell him you miss him. Simple. No accusation, no over the top emotional outburst, no manipulation.
Trust that he loves and misses you, and he will contact you when he can.
Conclusion
Long distance does a number on us military spouses, and our relationship. Its a part of this life than we cant escape, but we have a hand in how we handle it, and in the way we choose to react.
Join My Group, for more tips and advise, and a supportive network.
This is exclusive to my Melaleuca team and their people, so if you want in, make sure you get with the person who sent you to this page, and they will show you how to get access.
Here is where I give you the rundown, and my own experience.
It’s time to take control of your health so you can show up with confidence every single day. We wear so many hats, but the best version of you, is the healthy version who is in control of your own body.
You’ve tried extreme diets that promise quick results, only to turn around and have a cheat meal that turned into a cheat weekend. Or you’ve cut out all your favorite foods, and felt absolutely deprived to the point that you’re miserable. Or you’ve drank the shakes with questionable ingredients, only to find that your pants are tighter than before. Sound familiar?
I wish I could give back all the time and money people waste with these diet scams, and I see them every single day. Friends who track every calorie they ingest to make sure they don’t gain weight. Intense elimination diets. I myself spent 5 years on a vegan diet in order to stay slim, and even that wasn’t intense enough. Every 6 months, I did a “raw vegan cleanse” for 30 days. Yep. Just raw fruits and vegetables for a month. Enough is enough.
If you have trouble losing weight, if you’ve ever had a diet plan fail you, if you aren’t confident in your body, if you don’t feel amazing physically and emotionally, this program is for you.
So many products and programs are centered around an easy way to make money off of people. My program is based on real food. It’s based on what our ancestors ate before obesity, diabetes, acne, depression or anxiety were even issues that people dealt with. It’s based on science, on traditional wisdom, on what we ate before fad diets and weight loss scams were the norm.
We are here to help you and coach you until you are happy and healthy in your skin. You can be the best version of yourself, and I can get you there in 9 days. You just have to stick with it.
Here is what you get:
You will receive a meal plan as well as an outline of how each day will look so you’re never left unprepared, and everyday is laid out for you.
9 days of at home workouts that anyone can do. The goal here is to introduce your body to moving and building muscle. The workouts can also be modified for more advanced athletic levels.
Daily nutritional coaching via Facebook Live in our private group. No more question marks. Do this the right way, that supports your health as well as weight loss. Skinny doesn’t equal healthy. But if you follow this plan, you will be both slim AND healthy. As long as you follow the plan, there is no way to mess it up. Your body WANTS this, and will release all extra weight when you implement properly. You will receive 8 guides to teach you all about healthy living. This includes:
The Kitchen Clean Out Guide:
if you don’t have junk food in your kitchen, you won’t eat it! This is a step-by-step guide on how and what to eliminate from your refrigerator and pantry. Everything from canola oil to wheat!
Grocery Shopping Guide:
So many people are overwhelmed when it comes to buying groceries, reading labels and knowing what to buy. I will teach you how to easily and effectively grocery shop.
Going Out Guide:
you can still go out to eat! You just need to know how and what to order, and which easy substitutions you can make. Have your steak and eat it too!
Cleaner-Greener Cleaning Guide:
a cleaning guide in a nutrition program? Yup! Household cleaning products are some of the biggest toxins we come into contact with. The body cannot heal, detox or lose weight if you’re using them!
Cleaner-Greener Body Products Guide:
another huge source of toxins! The toxins found in body products can congest your liver and disrupt your hormones, both of which are essential to losing weight!
Guide To Healthy Fats:
fats are not your enemy! This is not the 90s and I am not a fat-hater. Fats are actually necessary to losing weight! This guide will teach you all about which fats to eat, which to eat raw, and which to cook with!
Guide To Healthy Sweets:
I recommend laying off of the desserts for 9 days, then reintroducing them. You have the rest of your life to eat sweets, you can give it up and just eat natural sugars for 9 days. This guide will teach you which sugars are safe.
Guide To Kids Healthy Eating:
We all know feeding kids can be downright crazy, right? Sometimes we find something that works, and just stick with that. But, what if that thing that works, is actually GOOD for them? That’s actually a thing. And you’ll get that guide here.
Here’s the deal: give me 9 days and I will teach you how to get the body and life you want. Guaranteed.
That’s right. After going through this program, I guarantee that you will never need another diet or weight loss program. As long as you stick to it.
Here’s how it works:
Message the person that sent you here to discuss your goals and challenges. You will be invited to the group where this Kickstart is facilitated. A few days prior to the Kickstart, you will receive all of your guides and materials to begin planning for your own personal transformation. You will watch the live videos daily as we coach you through your journey. Along with that, you will ask any questions that come up, and get the real answers that will help you along. If you’re ready to:
transform your body, health and happiness
reduce inflammation
reduce risk of disease
lose weight by eating real foods
increase energy levels and feel awesome
reduce brain fog
regulate insulin levels
reduce free radicals
get off the weight loss rollercoaster
experience better sleep
and finally have the body you want, then this program is for you.
To join this program, all you need to do is purchase the vitamins and minerals. Just reach out to the person who sent you here, and ask them how to get the supplements for the 9 Day Kickstart. (These supplements are proven in multiple clinical studies to improve cholesterol, blood pressure, free radical activity and more).
DISCLAIMER:
Due to the nature of this content and the fact that this program cannot be retracted once purchased, this program is non-refundable.By purchasing these products and participating in the program, you agree that Aseaba Arnold is not liable for any potential damages incurred. She is not a doctor or RD, the wellness program is simply meant to guide you to eat well. Any statements made have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and not meant to treat, diagnose or cure you.
As military spouses, so much of our lives are dictated by the military. Where we live, how often we move, whether or not our service member is going to be home by dinner time, and so much more. We have choices on how we react to this fact. We can fight it-kicking and screaming. Or we can accept it, and learn to make it work. The former is a common reaction, and often results in resentful, unadjusted spouses, and frustrated, miserable service members.
The latter is the option that will grow us.It will change us and mature us from the inside out, and result in not only stronger more resilient individuals, but a stronger unit (your marriage).
But how do we do it? How do we accept that our life is no longer just about us? Honestly, it s process that won’t happen overnight, but there are things you can do to shift your thinking, and make the change easier to embrace as you see the benefit.
Two Become One
Just as your husband was taught in bootcamp (or basic training) that he was no longer an individual, you need to begin to understand the same fact. When you said “I do”, the two of you became one. You are a unit, one body, one house. So there is no competing, no keeping score of who gets what, no splitting, no dividing. A house divided against itself can not stand.
There Can Only Be One Head
Don’t roll your eyes. I will not get into biblical submission on this post, but I need you to think logically, and without any emotion or bias. In a business, there are many employees, but one CEO. In a military unit, there’s a chain of command, and one commanding officer. In any living thing, there are many parts of the body, but only one head. The head does not operate independently, without the other body parts, but it is the only head. That said, someone in your marriage has to be the ultimate decision maker, the tie breaker, the leader, of sorts. That leader is the main character.
Where Do We Fit In?
As I stated above, the head can not move without the support of the neck the brain, and all the other body parts that make up the body. So as the spouse, or the supporting character, we are not without value. Your service member is often the logical, pragmatic, part of the body, but they need us. They need us to encourage them, and build them up. They need us to remind them that whatever it is, they can do it. They need us to feel respected and loved as the leader and representative of the unit (marriage) that goes out into the crazy world to make things happen.
What About My Needs?
I’m so glad you asked. Your needs matter, just as much as his do. I would never say that they don’t. There are ways to curate our desires and have our needs met as well. I always advocate for an hour or self care each day. Whether that’s an artistic hobby, or fitness, or reading a novel, or whatever it is that you enjoy, do it! Are you social? Definitely, go out and meet other spouses who can help build you up and create a sense of community. Do you have career aspirations? You can do those as well. Here’s where it gets sticky. In order for this to work, the first priority needs to be the unit. So if you can go to school, or work, or travel without it being a detriment to the family, and what the supportive role entails, then do it girl.
The Results
Over time, as our perspectives shift, and we begin to see our marriage as one unit instead of two individuals who compete with one another, small petty things, won’t matter. We won’t keep score over who washed the dishes last time, we won’t feel like we’re constantly fighting over when its “my time to do me”, and you’ll see this journey in the military as an opportunity to grow the marriage and its strength as well as the strength and individuals within.
Join our Facebook group, Milspouse Mastery, where we are doing a 5 day challenge on this very topic very soon. Becoming the Supportive Character Challenge
I'm a wife, crunchy mom of 5, Jesus lover, and homemaker. Join me on this wild journey of moving every 3 years to unpredictable locations as the wife of a US Marine.
