Life as a military spouse is a unique journey marked by frequent moves, separations, and the constant pressure to adapt to new environments. It’s a path that demands resilience, strength, and an unwavering commitment to family and community. However, during these challenges, feelings of isolation can often creep in, making it difficult to find a sense of belonging and support.
If you’re feeling isolated as a military spouse, know that you’re not alone. Many others share your experiences and understand the weight of the challenges you face. Here, we’ll explore some practical and comforting strategies to help you navigate these feelings and build a strong support network.
Embrace the Military Community
One of the most powerful sources of support is right at your doorstep—the military community itself. The shared experiences and understanding among military families can create a sense of camaraderie and belonging. Here’s how you can tap into this invaluable resource:
Join Spouse Clubs and Support Groups: Many military bases offer spouse clubs and support groups that organize events, workshops, and social gatherings. These communities are designed to connect you with others who understand your lifestyle and can offer friendship and support.
Attend Base Events: From family days to community picnics, attending base events is a great way to meet new people and become a part of the local military community. These events provide opportunities to connect with others and build lasting relationships.
Volunteer: Getting involved in volunteer activities on base not only allows you to give back to the community but also helps you meet like-minded individuals who share your values and interests.
Create Your Own Support Network
While the military community is a valuable resource, it’s also important to build a personal support network that extends beyond the base. Here are some ways to foster connections and find support:
Connect with Local Organizations: Seek out local organizations and clubs that align with your interests, whether it’s a book club, fitness group, or crafting circle. Building connections with individuals outside the military can provide a broader support network, this is especially helpful should you find yourself on an independent duty-not connected to a military installation. Check out Milspouse Mastery-my facebook community for military spouses.
Use Social Media: Online communities and social media groups for military spouses can be a great way to connect with others, share experiences, and seek advice. Platforms like Facebook and Instagram have numerous groups dedicated to supporting military families.
Reach Out to Friends and Family: Don’t hesitate to lean on your existing friends and family for support. Regular check-ins and visits can help maintain those vital connections and provide a sense of stability and comfort. I don’t know what I’d do without my group chat with my sisters-in-law.
Prioritize Self-Care and Mental Health
Taking care of your own well-being is crucial in combating feelings of isolation. Here are some self-care strategies to consider:
Establish a Routine: Having a daily routine can provide a sense of normalcy and control. Whether it’s a morning workout, a dedicated time for hobbies, or regular family meals, routines can help ground you, and give you a sense of productivity and accomplishment.
Say a Prayer of Thanksgiving/Write Down the Things You’re Grateful for: Nothing transforms your perspective like shifting your thoughts from self-pity to thankfulness.
Seek Professional Help: If feelings of isolation and loneliness become overwhelming, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Many military installations offer counseling services specifically for military families.
Invest in Personal Growth
Frequent changes and the demands of military life can sometimes make it challenging to pursue your own goals and aspirations. However, investing in personal growth can be incredibly rewarding and help alleviate feelings of isolation:
Pursue Education and Training: Many educational institutions offer programs tailored to military spouses, including online courses and certifications. These opportunities can help you build new skills and advance your knowledge or career.
Explore New Hobbies and Interests: Use each new location as an opportunity to explore new hobbies and interests. Whether it’s learning a new language, taking up photography, or joining a local theater group, pursuing passions can bring joy and fulfillment.
Set Personal Goals: Setting small, achievable goals for yourself can provide a sense of purpose and direction. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.
Build Resilience and Adaptability
Military life inherently involves change and uncertainty. Building resilience and adaptability can help you navigate these changes more effectively:
Focus on the Positives: While it’s natural to feel overwhelmed by the challenges, try to focus on the positives that each new location and experience brings. Embrace the opportunity to explore new places, meet new people, and create lasting memories.
Stay Flexible: Flexibility is key to thriving in the military lifestyle. Be open to new experiences and willing to adapt to changing circumstances. This mindset can help you navigate the ups and downs with greater ease.
Lean on Your Strengths: Recognize and embrace your own strengths and capabilities. You’ve already demonstrated resilience by supporting your spouse’s military career and managing frequent relocations. Trust in your ability to overcome challenges and thrive.
Conclusion
As a military spouse, you are part of a resilient and supportive community that understands the unique challenges you face. Embracing this community, building your own support network, prioritizing self-care, investing in personal growth, and cultivating resilience can help you overcome feelings of isolation and find comfort and belonging in your journey.
Remember, you are not alone. Reach out, connect, and take proactive steps to nurture yourself and your relationships. Together, we can create a strong and supportive environment where military families can thrive.
Looking for a resource to help you feel a little more sane and organized? Grab my FREE deployment planner with a daily self care checklist, countdown to homecoming, communicaton notes, and so much more!
Being a military spouse comes with its unique challenges, one of which is often feeling resentful towards your partner’s career in the armed forces. It’s understandable to feel this way at times, especially when their duties require long separations, frequent moves, and a significant amount of time away from home. Not only that, but its hard to feel like you’re working towards your own goals when everything revolves around the military. However, it’s crucial to remember that marriage is a partnership, and together, you can navigate these challenges and thrive as a team.
Embracing the Team Mentality
In any successful team, each member plays a vital role in achieving common goals. Similarly, in a marriage, both partners contribute to the success and well-being of the relationship. While your spouse’s career may demand a lot from both of you, it’s essential to recognize that your contributions are equally valuable, whether through emotional support, managing the household, or pursuing your own ambitions.
Exploring Opportunities for Personal Growth
Resentment often stems from feeling stagnant or unfulfilled in your own pursuits. As a military spouse, you have the freedom to explore various opportunities for personal and professional growth, even if your partner’s career requires frequent relocations. Consider pursuing further education, starting a business, volunteering in your community, or delving into hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember, building your future alongside your partner’s career is not only possible but empowering.
Join the Milspouse Mastery Community
If you’re seeking a supportive community of like-minded individuals who understand the unique challenges and triumphs of being a military spouse, look no further than Milspouse Mastery. Our online community is dedicated to providing resources, fostering connections, and offering encouragement to military spouses worldwide. By joining Milspouse Mastery, you’ll gain access to a network of individuals who share your experiences and are committed to helping each other thrive.
In conclusion, while feelings of resentment towards your partner’s career are valid, it’s essential to approach them as opportunities for growth and understanding within your marriage. Remember, you are part of a team, and together, you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way. Embrace the possibilities that lie ahead and join us at Milspouse Mastery to embark on this journey of empowerment and support.
Join the Milspouse Mastery community today and discover a world of solidarity, guidance, and empowerment for military spouses around the globe.
Today is a special day. I got up, made breakfast for my family, coffee for my husband and myself, and got the kids ready for school. Today is a special day. I put on a pretty pink dress and my favorite new sandals, because today is a special day.
My husband and kids surprised me with jewelry boxes, handmade cards and new sleepwear and a robe. Such sweet, beautiful gifts. And I wasn’t expecting them. My mother sent me a gift card, and I received tons of thoughtful messages. Cherries on top.
Perhaps you are surrounded by thoughtful people in your life. They remember you, and celebrate you and appreciate all that you are to them.
But what if you aren’t? If you have a spouse, who is forgetful, or doesn’t do much to celebrate you. If you have children who weren’t taught to make cards or give gifts. If your mother isn’t the type to do something special for you all the way across the country. Celebrate yourself.
There was a time in my life when I was single, and didn’t have anyone to surprise me on my birthday, and I made the choice to dress up and take myself out for a delicious meal.I celebrated myself. Without expectation.
To clarify. I’m still Mom. I dont expect to sleep in and the kids magically wake themselves for school. I’m still Wife. I still make my husband’s coffee and see him off to work by kissing him at the door (one of my favorite things actually). I dont expect the Princess Treatment that you see on TV.
But I am happy to do a few things that make me feel special and beautiful. I am grateful to know that I can celebrate myself.
So can you. and if you’re not quite there yet, I’d like to celebrate you. You’re special and beautiful, and we are so grateful that you are here.
Please Join Milspouse Mastery for more tips and advice, and a supportive network of military spouses to surround you on this journey.
Adjusting to a life of frequent moves, deployments, and a constant cycle of new faces and places can be a daunting experience. But for us military spouses, it’s just another day on the front lines of home and family. We play a vital role in creating the atmosphere for our family, and our efforts to create a nurturing environment are the glue that holds the military community together.
Today I’m sharing tips and insights, to guide you in the art of homemaking, tailored specifically to our unique lifestyle. From the cozy quarters of base housing to the temporary set-up of rented apartments (or houses) , these homemaking strategies are designed with the challenges that military families face, in mind.
Creating Comfort amidst Constant Change
Begin by crafting a home that’s a sanctuary, no matter where that might be. Select decor items that are both functional and sentimental—things that make any space feel like yours. Consider wall art that hangs with ease and furniture that serves multiple purposes or easily disassembles for your next move. Don’t be afraid to keep decor items when you move-those familiar aspects will make each new space feel more like YOURS.
Sustainable Systems for the Solo Steward
When you’re home solo during deployments, time management and organization become your best allies. Develop daily routines that consider your own schedule and size of your house. Stick to your routine so that the work doesnt pile up to an overwhelming state.
A Network of Neighbors
While moving might mean leaving friends behind, it also opens up opportunities to forge new ones. Actively engage in your local military community—attend events, join clubs, or start your own group around a hobby or interest. These connections can become your extended family, providing vital support during tough times.
Fostering Growth for the Whole Family
Your children are on this voyage with you, and each move can be an adventure. Transform each transition into a learning experience with explorations and local-area educational activities. And throughout it all, maintain routines that ground them, from story time to nightly video chats with their deployed parent.
Making Each Space Your Own
Homemaking isn’t just about the physical space; it’s about the emotional atmosphere you cultivate. Sprinkle personal touches like family photos and cherished mementos throughout your home. Plants can also play a special role; they not only purify the air but can create a sense of continuity and growth amidst change.
Conclusion
The words “home” and “family” take on profound new meanings within the military community. Every relocation, every “see you soon,” every fresh start is a testament to our indomitable spirit. We are the unsung heroines and heroes, the bedrock upon which the service member can rely.
May this post serve as a resource, a reminder, and an affirmation of our incredible role. In unity and support, we say thank you. For as we bolster one another, the entire community marches stronger. Keep shining your light, dear friends, one home at a time.
When duty calls, the military responds with steadfast resolve, commitment, and honor. Yet, behind the scenes, another form of heroism unfolds – the silent strength of the military spouses who are left to manage the everyday mission at home.
As military spouses, we don the cape of solo parenting during the most critical hour – deployment. From scheduling superhero to homework helper, we have the task of balancing home front duty with grace and determination.
The Call to Duty: Understanding the Deployment Lifecycle
Deployment is more than a temporary duty; it marks a significant milestone in the life of a military family. For many, it involves setting aside personal plans, missions, and celebrations, as the focus shifts to support the active service member. This is where our duty begins- the initial phase of deployment, preparing the home, and family for the time apart.
Phase 1 – Preparation and Pre-deployment Anxiety
The hours leading up to deployment form a crescendo of emotions – anxiety, readiness, and a bittersweet unity. We need strategies to handle this challenging time, from emotional readiness to the tangible checklists that ensure everything is in place. Super Spouses are armed with a plan of action that leaves no room for uncertainty.
Phase 2 – The Deployment Begins
With the formal goodbye comes the start of the deployment. On the first days and weeks apart, we often need practical advice, emotional support mechanisms, and the importance of maintaining routine.
Super Spouses to the Rescue: Juggling Household and Emotional Roles
When the service member is deployed, the home front becomes a silent, yet bustling base. Super Spouses transform into solo parenting superheroes, taking on the multiple roles that are typically shared. From taking charge of the family’s schedules and errands to being the main source for teaching, training, and emotional support-we step up to fill in the gaps and play both roles.
Mission Planning and Time Management
There are ways to streamline daily tasks, plan for contingencies, and ensure that home operations continue as seamlessly as possible. Time management takes on a new level of strategic precision, and a bit of organization is necessary to combat the enemy of household chaos.
Emotional Support for the Little Troopers
The emotional wellbeing of children during a deployment is a priority for any Super Spouse. We use resources like our support circle, local events and playdates and gentle techniques to help kids cope, offering an array of supportive measures that turn into secret weapons for facing the challenges head on.
Self-Care: The Super Spouse’s Not-So-Secret Weapon
Remember, the most resilient of heroes must take care of themselves. Self-care practices, support networks, and avenues for personal growth become the shield and armor that our Super Spouses will need, especially during deployment. This can be anything from an elaborate spa day (thanks, support network) to your favorite book and a cup of tea.Taking time for yourself when you need it, is not selfish.
Connecting with the Support Network: The Super Spouse League
No hero operates in a bubble, and neither does a military spouse. We must not forget the power of community and the vital role it plays in a Super Spouse’s life. It’s so important to build a local support system and explore the strategic alliances within the military community, local resources, and the chains of strength forged through shared experiences. These relationships act as the Super Spouse’s lifeline, providing camaraderie and shared wisdom.
The Online Military Spouse Community
In an era of digital everything, connections transcend geographical barriers. It’s a good idea to dive into the online world of military spouse groups, social media support, and the virtual salute of solidarity that empowers and engulfs Super Spouses worldwide.
The Reintegration Phase: Life After Deployment
Just as a deployment marks the beginning of an important phase, so does the end usher in a period of transition. As exciting as homecoming is, it also brings with it, the difficulties of reintegrations. Getting back into the norms of everyday life, but now including your spouse within the routine. This process is complex and looks different with every couple and every deployment. Managing post-deployment emotions,and aligning household expectations are just the beginning. These things can’t be rushed.
Celebrating Super Spouses: Recognizing Our Impact and Strength
Now, I just want to honor the resolute Super Spouses, recognizing the milestones we achieve, the impact we make, and the strength we embody. Many people aren’t aware of the challenges this life entails. They see it romanticized and glamourized with military ball gowns and picture-perfect homecomings. But we know the strength that this journey requires. We wear many hats and take on many roles, and if thats you, you truly deserve all of the admiration and appreciation in this post and more.
After a deployment, you may not have defended the nation from an enemy, but you fought. You had a mission to accomplish and you’ve served to completion. For that, we honor and “salute” you.
I'm a wife, crunchy mom of 5, Jesus lover, and homemaker. Join me on this wild journey of moving every 3 years to unpredictable locations as the wife of a US Marine.
