As military spouses, its difficult to navigate long distance while our service member is away. Whether it be a deployment or training, or some sort of school, long distance can put a strain on our communication, and our relationship dynamic as a whole. Dont fret, here are a few do’s and don’ts for getting through the distance.
DON’T
Stalk his social media. Thanks to the internet, we have a lot less privacy than we use to. We can see when someone “likes” a post, whether they’re online, and if their “snap score” goes up. If you haven’t received a message from your husband, and you see that he’s watching reels, you’ll probably get upset. Maybe he’s blowing off steam, or having a brain break-or maybe someone just sent him something. Either way, checking his socials wont help you.
Think the worst. Just because you haven’t’ heard from him doesn’t mean he’s ignoring you. He probably isnt mad at you. He probably isnt spending time with someone else. Its important to take these thoughts captive so that we dont jump to conclusions and drive ourselves crazy.
Blow him up with crazy accusatory messages. If you do the first two things I’ve listed, this is the logical conclusion. As women, our default responses tend to be emotional, and when we let it all build up, it might result in a paragraph that we soon regret typing and sending.
Match his energy, and decide to cut off communication. Let’s let maturity win, and choose not to get revenge on our husbands. Just dont.
DO
Spend some time with your support system. Nothing can make you feel good (or distract you) like a friend who understands.
Work towards a goal. Financial, fitness, a home improvement project, a hobby. These are all great mood boosters, and will give you a sense of accomplishment.
Send him a sweet message, asking about his day, and tell him you miss him. Simple. No accusation, no over the top emotional outburst, no manipulation.
Trust that he loves and misses you, and he will contact you when he can.
Conclusion
Long distance does a number on us military spouses, and our relationship. Its a part of this life than we cant escape, but we have a hand in how we handle it, and in the way we choose to react.
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