When duty calls, the military responds with steadfast resolve, commitment, and honor. Yet, behind the scenes, another form of heroism unfolds – the silent strength of the military spouses who are left to manage the everyday mission at home.
As military spouses, we don the cape of solo parenting during the most critical hour – deployment. From scheduling superhero to homework helper, we have the task of balancing home front duty with grace and determination.
The Call to Duty: Understanding the Deployment Lifecycle
Deployment is more than a temporary duty; it marks a significant milestone in the life of a military family. For many, it involves setting aside personal plans, missions, and celebrations, as the focus shifts to support the active service member. This is where our duty begins- the initial phase of deployment, preparing the home, and family for the time apart.
Phase 1 – Preparation and Pre-deployment Anxiety
The hours leading up to deployment form a crescendo of emotions – anxiety, readiness, and a bittersweet unity. We need strategies to handle this challenging time, from emotional readiness to the tangible checklists that ensure everything is in place. Super Spouses are armed with a plan of action that leaves no room for uncertainty.
Phase 2 – The Deployment Begins
With the formal goodbye comes the start of the deployment. On the first days and weeks apart, we often need practical advice, emotional support mechanisms, and the importance of maintaining routine.
Super Spouses to the Rescue: Juggling Household and Emotional Roles
When the service member is deployed, the home front becomes a silent, yet bustling base. Super Spouses transform into solo parenting superheroes, taking on the multiple roles that are typically shared. From taking charge of the family’s schedules and errands to being the main source for teaching, training, and emotional support-we step up to fill in the gaps and play both roles.
Mission Planning and Time Management
There are ways to streamline daily tasks, plan for contingencies, and ensure that home operations continue as seamlessly as possible. Time management takes on a new level of strategic precision, and a bit of organization is necessary to combat the enemy of household chaos.
Emotional Support for the Little Troopers
The emotional wellbeing of children during a deployment is a priority for any Super Spouse. We use resources like our support circle, local events and playdates and gentle techniques to help kids cope, offering an array of supportive measures that turn into secret weapons for facing the challenges head on.
Self-Care: The Super Spouse’s Not-So-Secret Weapon
Remember, the most resilient of heroes must take care of themselves. Self-care practices, support networks, and avenues for personal growth become the shield and armor that our Super Spouses will need, especially during deployment. This can be anything from an elaborate spa day (thanks, support network) to your favorite book and a cup of tea.Taking time for yourself when you need it, is not selfish.
Connecting with the Support Network: The Super Spouse League
No hero operates in a bubble, and neither does a military spouse. We must not forget the power of community and the vital role it plays in a Super Spouse’s life. It’s so important to build a local support system and explore the strategic alliances within the military community, local resources, and the chains of strength forged through shared experiences. These relationships act as the Super Spouse’s lifeline, providing camaraderie and shared wisdom.
The Online Military Spouse Community
In an era of digital everything, connections transcend geographical barriers. It’s a good idea to dive into the online world of military spouse groups, social media support, and the virtual salute of solidarity that empowers and engulfs Super Spouses worldwide.
The Reintegration Phase: Life After Deployment
Just as a deployment marks the beginning of an important phase, so does the end usher in a period of transition. As exciting as homecoming is, it also brings with it, the difficulties of reintegrations. Getting back into the norms of everyday life, but now including your spouse within the routine. This process is complex and looks different with every couple and every deployment. Managing post-deployment emotions,and aligning household expectations are just the beginning. These things can’t be rushed.
Celebrating Super Spouses: Recognizing Our Impact and Strength
Now, I just want to honor the resolute Super Spouses, recognizing the milestones we achieve, the impact we make, and the strength we embody. Many people aren’t aware of the challenges this life entails. They see it romanticized and glamourized with military ball gowns and picture-perfect homecomings. But we know the strength that this journey requires. We wear many hats and take on many roles, and if thats you, you truly deserve all of the admiration and appreciation in this post and more.
After a deployment, you may not have defended the nation from an enemy, but you fought. You had a mission to accomplish and you’ve served to completion. For that, we honor and “salute” you.
In the vast and ever-changing landscape of military life, one thing remains constant: the importance of a strong support system. As military spouses, we face unique challenges and uncertainties, from frequent relocations to extended separations from our loved ones. During these times, having a network of support can make all the difference in our ability to navigate and thrive in the military community. In this blog post, we’ll explore the significance of building a robust support system and offer practical tips for fostering meaningful connections within the military community.
The Importance of Support:
A strong support system is like a lifeline, offering comfort, guidance, and encouragement during the ups and downs of military life. Whether it’s a listening ear, a helping hand, or a shoulder to lean on, having people who understand our experiences and empathize with our struggles can provide invaluable support and validation. A strong community can lift us up during challenging times, celebrate our successes, and remind us that we’re not alone on this journey.
Fostering Meaningful Connections:
Building a strong support system starts with reaching out and connecting with others within the military community. Whether you’re attending a spouse group meeting on base, joining online forums and social media groups, or participating in local community events, putting yourself out there is the first step toward building meaningful relationships. Be open to making new friends and offering support to others who may be facing similar challenges. I once made a friend just by knocking on my neighbor’s door-asking to borrow a cup of sugar.
Seeking Out Resources:
In addition to building personal connections, it’s essential to take advantage of the resources available within the military community. From family readiness groups and support services on base to counseling services and educational programs, there are numerous resources designed to support military families. Don’t hesitate to reach out and ask for help when you need it, whether it’s assistance with childcare, financial counseling, or emotional support.
Nurturing Relationships:
Building a strong support system is not just about seeking help when we need it; it’s also about nurturing and investing in our relationships over time. Whether it’s staying in touch with friends from previous duty stations, scheduling regular coffee dates with fellow military spouses, or organizing social gatherings and events, maintaining strong connections requires effort and intentionality.
In the vast and interconnected web of the military community, a strong support system is the cornerstone of resilience and well-being. By reaching out, seeking resources, prioritizing self-care, and nurturing relationships, we can cultivate a network of support that sustains us through the challenges of military life and celebrates our triumphs. Together, we can create a community where every member feels seen, heard, and supported, no matter where the journey takes us.
Ready to strengthen your support system and connect with others in the military community? Join our supportive Facebook group and discover a network of like-minded individuals who understand your unique experiences.
As military spouses, its difficult to navigate long distance while our service member is away. Whether it be a deployment or training, or some sort of school, long distance can put a strain on our communication, and our relationship dynamic as a whole. Dont fret, here are a few do’s and don’ts for getting through the distance.
DON’T
Stalk his social media. Thanks to the internet, we have a lot less privacy than we use to. We can see when someone “likes” a post, whether they’re online, and if their “snap score” goes up. If you haven’t received a message from your husband, and you see that he’s watching reels, you’ll probably get upset. Maybe he’s blowing off steam, or having a brain break-or maybe someone just sent him something. Either way, checking his socials wont help you.
Think the worst. Just because you haven’t’ heard from him doesn’t mean he’s ignoring you. He probably isnt mad at you. He probably isnt spending time with someone else. Its important to take these thoughts captive so that we dont jump to conclusions and drive ourselves crazy.
Blow him up with crazy accusatory messages. If you do the first two things I’ve listed, this is the logical conclusion. As women, our default responses tend to be emotional, and when we let it all build up, it might result in a paragraph that we soon regret typing and sending.
Match his energy, and decide to cut off communication. Let’s let maturity win, and choose not to get revenge on our husbands. Just dont.
DO
Spend some time with your support system. Nothing can make you feel good (or distract you) like a friend who understands.
Work towards a goal. Financial, fitness, a home improvement project, a hobby. These are all great mood boosters, and will give you a sense of accomplishment.
Send him a sweet message, asking about his day, and tell him you miss him. Simple. No accusation, no over the top emotional outburst, no manipulation.
Trust that he loves and misses you, and he will contact you when he can.
Conclusion
Long distance does a number on us military spouses, and our relationship. Its a part of this life than we cant escape, but we have a hand in how we handle it, and in the way we choose to react.
Join My Group, for more tips and advise, and a supportive network.
Being a military spouse comes with its own unique set of challenges and sacrifices, right? One of the toughest parts of this lifestyle is the frequent and prolonged separations from our loved ones.I know it can be really tough and trigger feelings of anxiety and distress, which is what we call separation anxiety. But don’t worry, I’m here to guide you through it all.
In this blog, we’re going to explore the causes and symptoms of separation anxiety in military spouses, and I’ll give you some coping strategies to help you navigate through these challenging times. We’ll even talk about the importance of building resilience and offer support for military spouses during deployment separations.
Whether you’re a seasoned military spouse or new to this lifestyle, this guide aims to give you valuable insights and resources, so you can manage separation anxiety and thrive while your spouse is away.
Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is a common issue faced by military spouses, and it’s important to understand what causes it and what the symptoms are. Being separated from our husbands who are deployed can be incredibly challenging. It can make us feel anxious, lonely, and uncertain.
Causes
One of the main causes of separation anxiety in military spouses is the fear of the unknown. Not knowing what he is experiencing or when he’ll return can create a sense of unease and worry. And let’s not forget about the constant change and unpredictability of military life, which can also contribute to our anxious feelings.
Symptoms
Now, the symptoms of separation anxiety can vary, but some common ones include difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, irritability, and trouble concentrating. I know it can feel overwhelming and affect our daily lives, but remember that we have resources and support available to help us through it.
During a deployment, it’s completely normal to experience difficult emotions like anxiety, loneliness, and worry. But hey, we’ve got this! Coping strategies are super important during this time to manage these emotions and keep our marriages strong.
Coping
One strategy that can really help is lightening our workload. Deployment is a stressful time, and it’s crucial to reduce the pressure of perfection where we can. We can outsource tasks like dog walking, and yard work, to free up some time and energy, so we can prioritize our well-being and not overwhelm ourselves.
It’s also a good idea to have a list of non-negotiables for each day, so that you don’t fall into a slump. Daily tasks such as making your bed, getting dressed, and cooking 1 meal can go a long way in feeling accomplished and productive when overcoming anxiety. Maybe you don’t want to put on a full face of makeup and spend hours on your hair, but slipping on an easy dress or leisurely put-together outfit will boost your confidence and keep you moving.
Building Resilience
I won’t lie, deployment separations can be tough. The emotional strain, coupled with the physical distance, can often lead to feelings of isolation and stress. But guess what? We can build resilience and find support during these periods of separation.
One way, is by spending time doing the things we enjoy. What are your hobbies? Take some time everyday, and work on your arts and crafts, attend a fitness class, practice the piano-whatever it is! Focus on a goal. Improving your run time, reupholstering a chair, reading 5 books. Goals will help shift your focus during separation, and improve your mood.
I also recommend reaching out to fellow milspouses. No one can support you quite like someone who’s been in your shoes. They can talk you through your anxiety, or just lend an ear or a shoulder. They can also, distract you and support you. All you have to do is ask.
Conclusion
To summarize, separation anxiety is a common and understandable challenge that many military spouses face during deployments. But guess what? We’ve got the strength to endure it all. By understanding what causes and triggers separation anxiety, and by implementing coping strategies and building resilience, we can navigate through these difficult times with strength and support.
Remember, you’re never alone on this journey, sis. There are resources available to help us through separation anxiety. Seek support from other military spouses, consider counseling services, and prioritize self-care. We’re resilient and capable individuals who can overcome any challenge that comes our way.
Stay strong, lean on your support network, and always remember that you’re amazing! You’ve got this, and I’m right here with you every step of the way.
Looking for stability in this chaotic military life? Check out this guide for my tips.
What should you expect when your husband returns home from deployment?
You’ve survived 6 months without your best friend and father of your children. You’ve sent care packages, emails and crossed off the days on the calendar, and now your hero is coming home. (If you’re at the beginning of a deployment, read my tips here) But, whats next? What should you expect after deployment?
Homecoming
Many times, we wives tend to over do it on the homecoming. We hire a photographer, have banners and balloons made, invite people over, and plan a party. The fact is, after a long flight, and potential bus ride, your husband will be tired. Ask him if he wants a large celebration, or just a small dinner with the family. Remember ladies, it’s about him.
Unfamiliar Territory
I hope you’re sitting down. Ready? He will have changed. For months, your husband has been surrounded by other guys in uncomfortable quarters and potentially dangerous atmosphere. He may have developed habits, or speech that you dont recognize. You likely have changed your hair, and moved the furniture, and adopted a new routine, as well. You will both need to reintegrate after a deployment.
Reintegration, again
After deployment ends, and the excitement of homecoming is over and the dust settles, you need to find one another again. Not the love letters, or the sleeping in his t shirts, but the relationship you once had. For some couples, this happens naturally, but for many others, it takes considerable effort. I urge you, ladies. Don’t nit-pick if he doesn’t fall right back into the routine. Be patient, be supportive, and just love him. The same with your kiddos. Their relationship may take time to rebuild, but dont rush it.
Conclusion
After deployment, is where the real work begins. My advice: tidy up the house, cook his favorite meal, put on a pretty dress. Meet him with a sign, a kiss and a big hug. When you get home, make room for him to be back in your life. Don’t rush, dont force. Just listen (if he wants to share) and love him.
10 Best Items for a Deployment Care Package He’ll Love
Sending a thoughtful deployment care package to your husband is a powerful way to show your love and support for him while he’s away from home. To help you create a meaningful care package, I have curated a list of 10 essential items that will bring comfort, joy, and practicality to your loved one. Plus I’ve included affiliate links for easy reference.
Disclosure: I may receive affiliate compensation for some of the links below at no cost to you if you decide to make a purchase.
Including a heartfelt, handwritten letter on beautiful stationary, and a cherished photo will really go a long way to remind your service member of the love and memories you share.Personalize your letters and write sweet, supportive messages to boost their morale.
Pack their favorite snacks and treats that will withstand the journey. You can high protein fueling snacks, guilty pleasure snacks, or a mixture of both. You can even send homemade baked goods sealed in a mason jar. He’ll feel like the luckiest guy there.
Include soft and comfortable clothing, thats appropriate for the weather. You can include things like cozy socks, hoodies, t shirts, and breezy shorts in any fabric that will keep them comfortable
Pack travel-sized toiletries such as shampoo, body wash, deodorant, and toothpaste. Things that they use regularly, and will run out of if not restocked regularly. I’m including a kit with classic brands, as well as my husband’s favorite non-toxic brand products
Keep your service member entertained during down time with entertainment options. Include things that he can do alone like puzzles or something he can do with friends like a deck of cards.
Include everyday practical things that your husband will need like batteries, a small fan, headphones, etc. These sorts of items will come in handy at some point, and he’ll be glad you sent them.
Deployments are tough on your service member, consider sending him something inspirational to read, whether that’s a Bible, daily devotional, or inspirational quotes to motivate and encourage him.
Think a small pillow, sleep mask, or calming essential oil rollers
deployment care package, I sent before Thanksgiving
Conclusion
By packing these thoughtful items in your deployment care package, you’ll create a meaningful connection between you and your service member. Remember to customize the package based on their preferences and needs, like these awesome stickers. I hope this list helps you assemble the perfect care package. Stay strong, stay connected, and continue to support each other throughout this journey
For my tips on getting through a deployment, check out this post
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I'm a wife, crunchy mom of 5, Jesus lover, and homemaker. Join me on this wild journey of moving every 3 years to unpredictable locations as the wife of a US Marine.
