As the wife of a service member, life can be both rewarding and challenging. Things can change quickly, and since so few of us actually experience it, it isn’t highly talked about. I want to tell you briefly, what it’s really like being a military wife.
You will move often. Your husband will likely get transferred every 2-4 years. This can obviously, bring about challenges. When you start to feel at home, and begin making really good friends, that’s usually when it’s time for someone to move. Fear not: I’ve made friends in California and seen them 3 years later in Japan. The military community is pretty small, so you will likely see your friends again! On the bright side, your family has the chance to visit parts of the country (and maybe foreign countries) that you may not have visited otherwise. What an opportunity!
Your husband will leave. Not permanently (hopefully), but periodically. He will have training, and school, and deployments where he’s away for several months at a time. You’d think the toughest part would be managing the home and children without him. Not to worry, you will instinctively step into place, and learn to function well in his absence. What’s really REALLY hard (besides how much you miss him) is reintegrating when he returns. For 6 months, you’ve had your own routine, and moved the furniture the way you wanted, and relied on yourself to do what needed to be done. Now, it’s time to step aside and allow him back into place and to include him in the routine.
I’ve heard women say that its hard making friends in the military, but I find it really easy. If you live on a military installation, your neighbor will be a fellow wife. Strike up a conversation, easy. If you have hobbies, find a group on Facebook, and attend their events. Read my detailed advise on how to do that here. These women will quickly become your closest friends. They will watch your kids so you can have date nights, they’ll bring your favorite dish for the Thanksgiving potluck, and they’ll happily become your emergency contact for medical purposes. Best of all, they understand your lifestyle.
There is a lot of nuance to being a military wife. We are all different, after all. The things we have in common are we all understand the sacrifice and change that come with marrying a service member, and we love him enough that we don’t mind.
Still figuring out life as a military wife? Get some extra tips here.
